It's time to start invoicing the foolish

We owe many thanks to Albert Einstein. Beneath his famously unruly head of hair lay one of the finest brains in history, one so extraordinarily gifted at unravelling the secrets of existence that segments of it preserved in formaldehyde continue to be studied by reverential scientists today.

But for all his genius, Einstein was often cautious about his findings. The man whose equations explained things so tiny we cannot see them and things so large we cannot comprehend them was only certain about one issue.

"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity," he once declared. "And I'm not sure about the former."

Proof of Einstein's Law of Endless Human Stupidity has been plentiful in recent weeks as another round of savage weather battered Australia's eastern coastline. Wild winds and biblical downpours involved hundreds of rescue attempts by besieged emergency workers, risking their lives to save those caught by nature's extremes and sheer bad luck.

But many rescues also included the usual array of stupid, foolish and bloody-minded idiots. You know the type. A woman winched to safety after attempting to drive through heavy floodwaters. A pair of young sightseers forced to cling to trees by suddenly rising river levels. Residents warned to evacuate low-lying areas but who refused to leave and had to be rescued by helicopter.

It happens year-round. National Parks have recently experienced sharp increases in rescues as social media junkies lose their footing while posing for photographs on precarious cliffs. And let's not forget those unprepared bushwalkers lacking compasses and warm clothing who spark massive searches costing hundreds of thousands of dollars.

We shrug off these episodes because they are all too common. But with emergency service organisations across the country chronically underfunded and reduced to pathetic weekend tin-rattling efforts outside supermarkets, it's time we introduced a radically new concept.

It might be a difficult idea for the arrogant, selfish and plain dumb to get their heads around. So let's keep it simple in order for their pea-sized brains to process the information.

Einstein might have called it the Law of Personal Responsibility. It's an old-fashioned concept that fell out of favour some time ago. How to explain it to the stupid?

If you choose to climb a crumbling ocean-facing cliff face in your thongs in an attempt to reach the summit to show off to your Instagram followers, and you stub your big toe and things turn all bloody and, like, awfully yucky, and it's just too hard to go on and an emergency worker has to risk his own life and limbs by being lowered down so he can wrap you in a warm blanket because, like, it gets awfully chilly on those windswept cliffs, and then once you're comfortable the Westpac rescue helicopter winches you to safety at a cost of $10,000 or more, well...

There are going to be consequences. You might even have to, like, shoulder some blame. Gross, huh? No wonder this notion of personal responsibility fell out of favour.

Those rescued by choppers are rarely charged - they usually only foot the bill for the resulting ambulance ride to hospital. So let's start invoicing the foolish so the community doesn't have to wear the entire cost. It's a scientific fact that placing pressure on the human hip pocket regularly leads to a sharpening of the mind.

But we won't stop there. Those who put their own and other lives at stake with risky and ill-considered behaviour should be forced to repay their rescuers in a more meaningful way - one guaranteed to raise their appreciation for those who save them.

Once our Instagram hero has been rescued from that cliff face and that bloody toe of theirs has healed, he or she should be forced to undergo a survival training course at their own expense and then volunteer for an emergency service organisation for a minimum of 12 months.

A report on government services last year revealed volunteer numbers for emergency services are shrinking, call-out incidents are rising and professions like firefighting are experiencing rapidly ageing workforces, with the number of firies across the country aged over 50 rising by more than 30 per cent.

Unsurprisingly, federal, state and local government spending in this critical area is failing to keep pace.

Australia boasts one of the most renowned and respected army of emergency workers in the world. Forcing them to hustle outside supermarkets for loose change is a national disgrace.

Let's give the stupid to them. If they can't smarten them up, no one can.

HAVE YOUR SAY: Should people rescued be forced to shoulder some of the cost? Are you a volunteer or full-time emergency worker who has saved people? Do we need a better model for government and public funding of emergency services? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au

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THEY SAID IT: "Scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." - Frank Zappa.

YOU SAID IT: Steve asked whether you knew any accountants and if they met the stereotypes, and what your thoughts were on the big four and red tape.

"I don't know why we were so surprised about the accountants and their manipulations," said Sue. It is, after all, what we expect them to do, find the loopholes so we don't have to pay as much! Which means that, unless there is some requirement that each accounting firm has only one type of customer with the same interests, any accounting firm is going to have contradictory aims. And if the accountants are doing their jobs properly within the company, they are also looking at their own best interests. The problem has been allowing those companies to act without adequate oversight."

Helen is tired of large programs (she mentioned robodebt) causing the little person to lose everything. "My father, who lived his Christian faith used to often quote scripture," she explained. "As well as verses about the love of God, he often used to quote Jeremiah 17:9, which said 'The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?' Another one was 'Money is the root of all evil' (1 Timothy 6:10). If you put the two together you can see the connection with these big companies who deal with how to accumulate as much money as you can and how to keep it!"

"It happens all the time as people and companies get richer. They operate on John D Rockefeller's principle. When asked how much money was enough, he replied: 'Just a little bit more!' These dishonest companies need to be brought to account, not just rapped over the knuckles."

Jennifer offered her personal insights. "Having worked for a few consultancies and checked out others for comparison, it's clear that they all operate on the same principles," she shared. "Staff are valued based on the amount of revenue they bring in and that is the basis of their salary, so that is the focus. Those employees who are not money makers (e.g. support staff) are much more disposable than those who bring in the money, so they will always be sacrificed to keep the big money makers, no matter how badly the latter behave. They can do what they want as long as they're not caught and exposed for illegal action, as the company's reputation is essential to bringing in clients and thus more revenue.

"Those who do not like the business model and the culture leave. They are easily replaced as there are many who want the name of those big firms on their resume, because of the positive impression it creates for the nave public."

Maggie brought a different personal perspective. "Full disclosure: my dad was an accountant. Not a high-flying, big city, big business operator, but a suburban one. In a new post-war suburb, he guided dozens of small business people through their establishment, became firm friends with many of them, learned to use their children as translators when language was a barrier, and generously discussed financial matters with all who asked. A boring man? No way! He was an adventurous, optimistic, enthusiastic, and caring. Also careful and ethical. He would be horrified at the image accountants are getting through the misdeeds of the multi-nationals."